SHOPKINS

2006-04-13T04:34:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay but my new website is officially up and running.

www.shannonhopkins.com

snow in the afternoon

2005-12-16T07:25:00.000-08:00

it is a chilly afternoon here in karlsruhe and the snow is falling outside...and i am sitting here with nadine and noah. rob and mark are getting ready for kubik tonight, aimie is doing her christmas shopping and karen and roger went to ZKM (this really amazing multi-media museum that is a special museum in all of europe).

this week has been really good. tough at times but really we are moving to the next level with doxology... and denis... aka the bomb as always delivered the great summation... "behind everything with doxology is the dialog ... the name of the exhibition can change and evolve but always doxology exists because our team exists and we continue the dialog"....

Karen has been doing a great job of capturing the experience side of our time in germany and without her coming and being here i am not sure how productive our times together would be.

and in i am learning german...thanks to andy who is giving me my daily phrase lessons.....

Gruesse aus Deutschland

2005-12-11T11:53:00.000-08:00

I arrived yesterday in Karlsruhe, Germany and am staying for the weekend with Mark and Nadine and then I will stay in the old part of the city with Nicole who is part of Kubik. Anyway... I am enjoying being back in Germany. I always forget HOW MUCH I love this Nation until I get back here. And there is no better time to be in Germany than during Christmas. Tonight we went to the Weihnachtmarkt or Christmas Market and it was great, just wish my toes were not close to frozen at the moment.

Sunday is Brunch at Kubik and it was really nice to be here for that. Funny that I have only been once before I felt like I knew most people there and in a way felt like it was my community. I love the spirit you find here that you dont find many places that are so open and welcoming in a genuine and authentic way. It takes away the awkwardness that I feel often at churches.

Anyway...Rob, Aimie and Karen will arrive tomorrow and we will be working on Doxology this week. Figuring out how to go forward and what is next. Should be a good week and it will be good for us all to be together here.

By the way Mark and Nadine have added a program to their blog that translates it into English... so you can go check it out!

2005-12-06T10:26:00.000-08:00

its Christmas and I really would love to decorate.. however with the shortage of any christmas decorations in this country i think I will forego it this year. I do love Christmas and am a bit sad that I am actually going go without a tree of festive cheer around my flat. However I will be in Germany from the 10th-the 20th and that is most of the month anyway....

now if i could just get well. i am totally without a voice and can barely swollow my throat is so swollen.

2005-12-04T10:04:00.000-08:00

I've been back in London for 3 weeks... for two of those I have had company. It is funny how big and empty my flat seems today after Shelton left at 6 for the airport, I spent the morning cleaning...and then took a nap b/c i am coming down with something (my throat is swollen and i have no voice!)

Anyway...the last two weeks were nice b/c I was able to do London with a friend and take in some things I had not done before. Yesterday we went to Primrose Hill and walked through the park there right at the top of Regents Park (and we saw Jude Law .. in the flesh.. not once by twice as he passed us having lunch at a sidewalk cafe in Primrose Hill). I also went to Evensong at Westminster Abbey twice! And we had tea in the crypt at St. Martin's in the Fields. We took the train to Sheffield as well as numureos other things... Good times in all. But I am feeling a bit sorry for myself today, as I am feeling under the weather and a bit lonely. Oh well

American Thanksgiving in London

2005-11-23T11:39:00.000-08:00

Yeah that is right..I am putting on an American Thanksgiving in London.... Turkey and dressing and all the trimmings.... minus Macy's thanksgiving Day parade and the UT/ Texas A&M game. Lots of people coming and I have been cooking all day. (dressing, eggplant casserole, deviled eggs, cheese dreams, and the corn souffle to do and the turkey to prep)

The hardest part of doing thanksgiving here is a) the size of my kitchen and b) the lack of a car to do the transport. I am quite worried right now about getting the turkey across town to get it in the oven by 10am in the morning! YIKES.

But I am really excited about this Thanksgiving... old friends and new friends... isnt thanksgiving what Christmas ought to be anyway... you get to celebrate, realize how much we have, enjoy each others company and have little expectation.....

Oh well.. back to cooking!

Chestnut Roasting on an Open Fire.....

2005-11-19T16:10:00.000-08:00

Yes....we had roasted chesnuts today from an open fire and whilst buying them i could hear the song in my head...however biting into them and eating them is not near as heartwarming as i would have thought. actually quite a let down. guess i have watched too many movies... oh well... still i had chesnuts from an open fire before going into st. martins in the fields for a cup of tea.

I am sooooo enjoying being back in London. And this week Shelton is here so it is nice to see London fresh again, that mix of fresh and familiar. Taking him to my favorite places and also doing some new things. For instance... I have never been to evening song at Westminister Abbey and we did that today and it was lovely! Following which we had a curry and then met up with Iona, Rob and Aimie.

Returning to myself

2005-11-15T07:19:00.000-08:00

It is so so good to be here today. Back in London... Feet on this earth. Autumn in full swing and Winter on the way. Listening to Jazz and sitting in starbucks (only b/c my internet router crashed and i am 3 days w/o internet at home and need to catch up on email... so i am here in a startbucks (yes.,..go ahead and scorn me... listening ot jazz in shepherds bush b/c i have a meeting over here at 5ish)

so now... yes.. i am coming back to myself. feeling in my skin. but then i was catching up on blogs and came across the debate between fundamentalists and emerging church folks over Kyle's death. I really am beyond words, close to tears and spitting mad! Really when will it end? Will there always be this battle between those that so desperately are about the gospel and seeing it take root in our culture and those that want to preserve the church as they know it? How can people not see the pharisaical nature in their arguments. It is so repulsive. I never respond to this stuff b/c it makes me sick and seems like a neverending cesspool. But when someone that loved the Lord, cared about his church, loved the people in his congregation and continually sacrificed to do what he felt called to do dies and other people start using this to say it was God's judgement... i just have to say WHAT IN THE WORLD?

NEW DAY

2005-11-10T03:08:00.000-08:00

so much for having a jet-lag proof trip. it kicked in last night as i woke up every 30 minutes never really getting to sleep until around 7 am this morning. but that is ok...i have given myself time to decompress. and while i am ready to unpack feels like there is a different kind of "unpacking" on my agenda. the unpacking of my heart and brain from the last 7 weeks.

i said to a friend in an email that after my grandfather died every conversation felt intense, i was struggling between wanting to run away (flight mechanism in full throttle) and wanting to be with people (but be silent). my heart felt so intense and my brain overloaded. after all we had just launched Doxology and i had not unpacked that at all -- which is another thing---it seems after i do anything that is seen i want to run away--- do something new...especially as it gets adopted or blessed by the mainstream

as i landed in england i felt like i could breath again for the first time in weeks. i felt my heart contracting again, like there is space here to process and to breath. and spiritually i have felt the space for repentance which allows me to draw closer to god.

and then today i felt ready to read what others had said about doxology and begin being thankful for how good it was. how rich it was. for the ability to work with others that are so uniquely special.

i started by reading brad's thoughts....which blessed me also b/c he was so gracious to me. it helped to break through the fog that i have been seeing everything through in the last weeks. to read brad's thoughts you can go here

ok..

UK

2005-11-09T07:19:00.000-08:00

i made it! i arrived last night after an eventful journey.... plane malfunctions in dallas which caused a major delay (3 hours) into Toronto...an overnight stay in toronto and a late night arrival into the UK.... i was greeted with roses and everything...tamsin greeted me at the airport and whisked me away to her house in Chichester.... a very good, safe, peaceful place to land and re-enter!

i am sooooooooo glad to be back!

4 sale

2005-11-04T09:55:00.000-08:00

the time has some to sale my car! a bit of a stressful thing to do my last 3 days in the states...but i have made the decision, had it appraised and i am going for it.

i LOVE my car so this has been a decision i have kept putting off....so please pray for the right buyer that will pay the right price!

Kerrville

2005-10-30T20:17:00.000-08:00

i am trying to unpack and verbalize my trip to kerrville...but really i dont know where to begin... i have started and deleted this post about 5 times. it was good to go back but crazy also.... i drove down old country roads, went to the chapel on the hill at MO Ranch which was always a meditation spot for me, saw old friends from each stage of my life (that was the crazy part) was very nostalgic and then ended by going to Soul Cafe and Trinity.

i am glad for the time that i spent there...there is still so much i love there....but i am also glad i dont live there right now...

a time to live and a time to die

2005-10-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

my grandfather died last night. i dont think it has hit me yet. life is crazy. you always think you have more time and death seems to sneak up on you. even when you know it is most likely around the corner.

so tonight i am in that state of grief and exhaustion. i am who i am b/c of my granparents. they were more my parents than my own parents. i will forever be greatful that i had the relationship i did with my grandfather. i know he loved me and i know that he knew i loved him. it still sucks that i didnt come sooner and that i didnt get to say goodbye, however the last time i saw him he was telling jokes and being his usual jovial self. he was in no pain at the end and he went quickly.

i am rambling a bit but wanted to share. i could write something profound about grief and the jewish customs of commuinty and grief which i am so intrigued by... but maybe that will come later... i am too tired. i must go to sleep.

worst blogger ever

2005-10-11T21:12:00.000-07:00

ok...so sorry for my ever increasing lack of posting. i have come here to update some link's. erika's was a year out of date and some how i forgotten to add mark fletcher's link... i think that is b/c i usually go to rob's blog and then to mark's. oh well those few updates plus the addition of Sheila who was the most lovely host for the Doxology crew.

speaking of Doxology It was Amazing and Beautiful and it really feels like the beginning of something, like we birthed something this past weekend. There are some great photos here

AMERICA

2005-09-14T06:21:00.000-07:00

well....i made it to AMERICA.

I had absolutely the smoothiest exit and re-entry EVER. I hit the ground running and have been trying to spend one on one time with all my good old friends. It has been really good to just see my friends here and to re-connect with both this place and my people.

yesterday...stacy and i went to her favorite new coffeehouse (she is the person in my life, other than family, that has knowm me the longest -- since 15 i think), then rob and i were busy bunnies and got a lot of work done for doxology -- and everything is flowing! we met up w/ Don Vanderslice -- who made the 16th Vicar that he nows know. after that the afternoon was spent with jessica --which was fantastic-- hamburgers at Huts Hamburgers at 6th street then drinks at Opal Divine's on the porch....after about 30 minutes i had to go inside...even with the misters on. Dinner was at Hyde Park Grill w/ the whole gang.

before i left London Caroline said to me at the airport --- "leave england here shannon, even in your mind and really enter and fully recieve Texas". so i have really tried to do that. it is amazing b/c it gives you fresh eyes to see the place you come from.

massive road trip

2005-08-10T08:45:00.000-07:00

ok well i made it back from a massive road trip... from london to shetlands and back again via orkney! yeah.....i am CRAZY. too much to do in a week...but it was AMAZING. the way home was peppered w/ experiences and friends along the way...so all is good.

sorry for the depressing last post that has been up for a week w/ nothing to come on top of it. just hard to keep up whilst on the road.

there is really so much to say i dont know where to begin.

i could start w/ my birthday....funny how quickly i could switch gears...from being very excited about another year, another milestone to bawling my eyes out on my birthday. i think a lot of it was due to being overly tired...july was one hard and very busy month. i think i had 4 days total that i wasnt hosting. and that is tuff in my small abode. i think the other part is that birthdays are just hard. i find that i really like to get gifts at all times other than christmas or my birthday. on those dates there is just too much expectation and pressure. and at those times i find that i want things that can not be wrapped in a box. i dont know if that makes sense. anyway... the trip north and back did me some good i think. better perspective. it is always good to go to the high places!

more to come.....

2005-07-31T17:31:00.000-07:00

funny how birthdays seem to set you up for disappointment, fear, failure, rejectition etc.

33

2005-07-30T17:05:00.000-07:00

It is my birthday. About a month ago I really wanted to celebrate. To celebrate my life. My life is freaking amazing. And not just b/c I live in London and have an amazing set of friends that spans the world. But amazing because of who I am and who i am becoming in Christ. I am not that fussed anymore about really celebrating the day. (mainly b/c I am exhausted having had a steady stream of people for the past month) but I want to live in this place of celebration, recognition and acceptance of my true self.

About 2 years ago my prayer was Christ Alone. That I would really be living from that place of Christ alone, that He alone would be enough and that in Him alone I would find my identity. Needless to say so much started getting stripped away. But the last year has been one of amazing transformation.

I have said to others that it feels like God waited my whole life and prepared this space in London for me. It has been a place that has been as much about what He has done in me as what He wants to do through me. And I feel like this day serves as a marker. A marker of where I have been, where I am at, and where I am headed. I am so hopeful of the road ahead, so thankful for the road behind me and am at peace with where I am in this moment.

the germans have gone

2005-07-13T03:09:00.000-07:00

For the last few days Mark and Dennis (fondly referred to as the germans) have been here to work on the branding package and book layout for Doxology. It really seems like things are coming together. It is exciting, now we have soooo much to do in the next two months!

It was great having them here and just to see new relationships/friendships get forged (on top of all the productivity). I love that. People often say I am a networker. I don’t know if that is actually the title I want but I do love to connect people.

back

2005-07-09T16:58:00.000-07:00

so much has happened i dont know where to start or what to say. from the drive back and all of the prayers and love i have for this nation. and all the hope. to the bombing and all the concern for and from friends. to the re-entry into london and the arrivals of the german guys that are here to work on doxology. the last few days has been beyond surreal. i have lots of thoughts swirling in my head and i will try to blog again soon.

i think the thing i am most aware of today is how much i love london and how much the Father loves the city. i also am aware of how different it is to live here compared to living in the states post 9/11. really the city has just returned to normal so quickly and there is a solemness about the city. not much panic and not much fear.

2005-07-04T04:41:00.000-07:00

Over the Hills and through the woods….well not really but it was a heck of a long way to come to see the Jones. (you know travel by tube, train, plane, bus and ferry all in one day) And I still can’t get over how long it takes to go such a short distance in this Nation. But oh well as always….more than worth the trip just to see the Jones and hang out for a bit. The land here is Amazing!!!!! And I am quite excited to see what these guys end up doing here.

So now I am planning on taking off first thing in the morning and driving back to London via Sheffield. I am quite excited about going through the Scottish Highlands…but also a bit nervous about doing the drive by myself. So if any of you guys are throwing prayers up…I would appreciate them….you know for safety of course but also that I would see the things the Father would like to show me and I would have revelation. I do love to drive, most of you know that, it opens something up for me….so off I go!

Happy Midsummer's Day

2005-06-20T23:45:00.000-07:00

yes....happy midsummer's day. funny how fast the season has changed here in london town. just a few days ago i was talking to a friend in texas and they were saying it was 99 degrees and very hot. i chuckled and said it didnt even feel like summer. only to wake up the next day and have brilliant sunshine and a high level of humidity. oh well. i have to say i really am enjoying the longer days that summer brings, and the sunshine, the way everyone hangs out outside, the people everywhere, and the picnics. i could however take a little more breeze and a/c would be lovely even heavenly.

so yes... happy happy midsummers day!

community responsibility

2005-06-17T05:22:00.000-07:00

Cindy Just left my place this morning at 6 am for Romania. Where she will be spending 10 days doing voluntary work a few days traveling and hiking following which she will go pick up Elizabeth and take here to walk the the camino de Santiago de compostela.

I have been thinking about this a lot this week. What this means for cindy, what she has taken on. What this means for Elizabeth and what it means for us as a community.

For Cindy, she has taken on an amazing responsibility. Emotionally, Physically, Spiritually and Financially. What is are part in supporting and helping her? For Elizabeth This is an AMAZING time. She is 12. The exact age that in the Jewish community they would have a coming of age ceremony. For us as a community I think we have a part. I think through this not only will it be significant and life changing for both cindy and Elizabeth but also for us a community/church/family that God is knitting together. When I was thinking about this the other day I saw this picture of Cindy and Elizabeth walking up the hill and all around them were just our hands. Hands of people from Australia (where cindy is from and Elizabeth was born, hands from California, Texas, Prague, Switzerland, Germany, England and Orkney, young hands and old hands. ) Some of the hands where on their backs like actually supporting as they were climbing this huge hill, others were just all around, but there were many many hands.

In January I was part of a party that Tamsin and Mark through for their eldest daughter’s 11th birthday. Tilly was the only person there under 20. And it was clear that as Tilly was growing up she needed more than her parents but others to help guide her. The gifts were words and vision and prayer and friendship and commitment that day. But for me I started thinking about what responsibility we really do have to the children in our circle.

There is a jewish website that has a whole section on life cycles and the coming of age ceremony. Some of you might want to go there. We all know that adolescence is a major turning point. I certainly don’t want to go back to age 12-15! YUCK. But I also think that it doesn’t have to be that bad. And I just have this feeling that God wants to do something special this summer through this camino.

jeff waldo

2005-06-14T15:14:00.000-07:00

jeff waldo is one of the most brilliant and special people i know. he is totally AMAZING. Jeff is blogging again. But his blog is a chronicle of his journey through end stage kidney failure. He is in his early 40s and if you looked at him (well at least a year ago) he looks totally healthy. However, in the past months he has started dialaysis and is waiting for a transplant. i honestly dont know how to wrap my head around it. i mean it is one thing for my stepfather (who is almost 80) to be on dialysis...but jeff? this is a guy that everyone should meet and get to know.

anyway... go read his blog...and pray for him and his family and a donor!

Hope

2005-06-13T01:49:00.000-07:00

"Hope defered makes the Heart Sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

ARRRH

2005-06-10T20:56:00.000-07:00

Ohhh what a day! I had a very strange dream last night and very emotional…which led me to send an email to my father. Which now several hours later I am wishing I would not have sent. (You know God in his infinite wisdom will not take back words after they have been spoken—oh how I wish he would though). Oh well I was just finishing that drama when I figured out that since being back in england one of my bills had fallen through the cracks…so I spent all afternoon on my finances. Which I hate. At one time in my life I had an accountant that paid all my bills. That was really nice. But no longer even close to the life I lead today. And while I should be thankful that I had the money to pay all my bills I am actually trying to figure out how I am going to pay my rent next month. And tonight…on a Friday night…I am at home alone! ARRRRH..

Being Woman

2005-06-10T05:48:00.000-07:00

Well I have this love / hate relationship with my body. Seriously. I know most women do. But mine is out of control
There was a time when I was super thin and in the fashion industry. But I never felt thin enough or pretty enough. I have always felt FAT. And there were times when I knew I could get a guy…but it usually had more to do w/ sex than me feeling attractive. Then came Jesus. A lot of Christian Socials….which all involved food and eating out…and my body has never been the same. Sometimes I work hard at it…sometimes I don’t. The funny thing is that in the last two years I have probably had more “aha” moments than ever before…you know the ones where you catch yourself in the mirror and go you know actually I am pretty. It is hard for me b/c in my family to be pretty meant THIN and not just THIN…thin = no curves…and me…I have always had curves.

But anyway…why am I sharing any of this. On a blog of all places? 2 reasons…1) b/c in turning over a new leaf w/ my blog I felt like it was about really sharing what God is doing in my life...the journey He is taking me on. And a HUGE part of my journey the last year has been about my body. And 2) b/c Debbie did this post the other day on being woman and there was a photo. I kept looking at the photo…going who is that. And it was me. And I thought you know what…not a bad photo. It is me (a little heavier than I am now and w/ shorter hair) while we were traveling a few summers ago. But me and I look ok.

So ok now there is some real honest transparent stuff!

words of affirmation

2005-06-07T18:15:00.000-07:00

ok...i like to be told i am loved, respected, all those things...even though i dont always receive it well...but today i have been getting a lot of complements...and it has been nice...the last one came from nathan so i thought i would blog it.... he said "when I think of you I think of a tree deeply rooted, with branches that go in a lot of different directions" and that was nice. i wish i had a better picture of a tree...maybe i will search for one tomorrow. i also will work on being able to put photos in the middle and change the size of photos soon.....till now ...at least i am posting again!

Home

2005-06-07T05:09:00.000-07:00

I grew up with this sense of having multiple homes. I moved 11 times in 13 years and I always had this since of home being 1) w/ my grandparents, 2)w/ my mom and 3) w/ my dad. And I moved quite freely between the three. After university I lived in several different cities and I always felt like home was a little bit in Austin, a little bit in Dallas and a little bit in Kerrville. But it was in having multiple homes that I felt settled. Now in England…I feel like the place is more “me” shaped than anywhere ever before and it does feel like home.

Why then have I been missing texas periodically over the last month? I really have no desire to go back but I do think it is because for the first time I feel really cut off from one of my homes. like it doesn’t feel like both/and but one or the other. In the midst of God stirring up some old personal stuff it has me longing for some of the comforts of home.

But then on the other hand…I don’t really want to go back. Rob asked me yesterday if I felt like I was slowly going back and that really freaked me out. Isnt it ok to miss things and people a bit? But what do I really miss? B/c while I don’t want to go back I want the ability to go back and I want to have both…England and Texas

Community

2005-06-07T03:15:00.000-07:00

Brian & Whitney could really use some love, prayer and practical support.

These are guys that I love and really care about. They have seen me through some really crazy times and even were my landing base in the states during my crazy show season last fall. They are top quality and in the midst of a difficult time I hope they know how much they are loved, not just by God but by people all around the world!

2005-06-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

So did you notice....I learned to post photos!!! you know i am actually technologically illiterate. i dont know how that happened ...everyone else in my family cant wait to get the next gadget...and i am still back here trying to figure out how to post photos. oh well.

on another note....i am way to spoiled after my mom being here. taxis really are a nice way to travel and i spent way too much time on the tube today.

Columbia Road

2005-06-06T15:47:00.000-07:00

…one of my favorite places in the city is the Columbia Road Flower Market. First of all I love the fact that London has so many markets, and I do think Columbia road is a cut above the rest! It is the market where all the flower stores go to buy their flowers. So down the middle of the street is stall after stall of fresh cut flowers and plants for sale and on either side the street is lined w/ very trendy stores. For instance there is Treacle, that makes lovely mini tea cakes, and then there is the hat store that does very artsy creative yet English hats. If you do it right you can hit Columbia Road, Brick Lane and Spitafields all in one go!

I love the diversity of people at Columbia Road and the energy that you find there on Sunday mornings. I love to meet people there, shop the market and picnic in the park at the end of the street. So that is how I spent my day today. A bunch of us met up at the flower market today, we did the market, and we picnicked with no rainfall. Then Katie, Ben and I hung out there for the entire afternoon, ending the day w/ a stroll through brick lane even though the market was kaput!

A view from my room

2005-06-05T15:46:00.000-07:00

This is the view out the window of my flat. I struggle from time to time with the size of my flat. I honestly think that my flat is smaller than my dorm room in University. No kidding! but it is beautiful and lovely and it feels like a real "inner chamber" space.

When I first started praying about coming to London, I very clearly heard the word "BOW". But then some friends here said "there is no way that you will be able to afford Bow, you need to go to a place that the tube doesnt even run". So i put it back on the table and asked God to lead me. While praying with Derek and Amy one night Amy had a vision with street names and everything. It led me right to my flat. And here I am.

It is like a sanctuary in the middle of the city...and I love it.

NEW START

2005-06-04T15:43:00.000-07:00

ok well i have been in the process of killing my blog for a long while now. i think b/c i didnt have any clear idea any longer of why i was blogging. when i first started blogging i wanted everyone to be blogging. and soon enougheveryone was blogging and we were all reading each others blogs and it was great and we were all connected. and that was part of what i was doing during that time...trying to get people connected so noone felt isolated.

but then in the process of the ECN blowout, leaving texas and moving to England I started really censoring my blog and then it became more of a chore than something i wanted to do. so for a long time i have thought about starting over. and it feels like today is that day. (ok so i did build an entire new blog...but my template got totally screwed up so i am going to post here and build another blog shortly)

so the last year has been more about "being" for me. and i feel like i need to open that up a little more, unpack it, share my journey/life with any of you that care to read it. for those of you that have continued to read my blog over the last year...sorry for how dull it has become!

2005-05-16T17:50:00.000-07:00

so rob got picked as the guardian blog of the day...kind of crazy..his hits are going through the roof. funny enough...his last drawing was of penticost so he hurridly did a new drawing of our protest 4 meeting. (sorry for the lack of links...but it is far too late for me to bother)

2005-05-06T09:04:00.000-07:00

I live and work in London. How cool is that? Ok I dont know ... I am sitting at a coffee shop in mile end and i just was captivated by the people, the sky the buildings around me and realized how lucky and how alive I am. Sometimes it seems so normal I dont even think about it. But today...I just feel really alive and really happy w/ my life. Just thought I would share!

2005-05-05T16:33:00.000-07:00

"to be fully human, fully myself
to accept all that I am
all that You envision
this is my prayer
walk w/ me out to the rim of life
beyond security
take me to the exquisite edge
of course
and release me to become"
Sue Monk Kidd

i have had this quote for a while and i love it. but it seems really appropriate for where i am at right now.

2005-04-29T14:00:00.000-07:00

a few days ago rob did a drawing "biscuits on the bus" and quite a debate has started around the "best biscuit". i have to admit...i dont feel like i can weigh in on this being an american...we don't hold biscuits in quite as high regard...but if you havent been following his DDD "Daily Drawing Diary"...you should definately go have a look. he does all these drawing w/o ever looking at the page....

as for me it has been CRAZY BUSY. i know that surprises anyone who knows me. but i got back from germany and hit the ground running. i have had a full house, with quite a revolving door, and then aimie and i came to chichester for 2 days to work on protest 4 stuff w/ tamsin.

10 years ago today

2005-04-19T16:48:00.000-07:00

10 years ago today was the Oklahoma City Bombing. Kind of Crazy for me to think about. My life was COMPLETELY different 10 years ago. And I had some sales meetings in Oklahoma City the day of the bombing. I had planned on going up the night before and staying in a hotel in downtown Dallas. Instead I ended up going to see my grandparents for some reason and staying with them. I had a feeling that morning that something was amiss. Anyway I was close to OKC when the bomb went off. It felt very earie to be so close to it.

Anyway....just weird to think about that day. The fact that I was totally un-involved with chruch or anything related to God. And just how different my life was. And I cant believe that was 10 years ago.

2005-04-18T18:20:00.000-07:00

ok well nadine is going to pressure me back into the habit of blogging!

so i will share this snipit from the trade justice vigil friday night:

"Live simply
give out everything
become poor yourself"
From the reading of The Fever read by Vanessa Redgrave

I dont know I have been pondering those words and I realize that really I dont want to become poor. There are still things I desire. Even as I move further and further away from a real career or having a real income, there are still things I want. I was driving back from seeing my cousing last week and my prayer to god was for some new clothes. How ridiculous when the majority of the world lives on less than £1 a day.

But then how do you balance that with not coming under the spirit of poverty and receiving the gifts or land or territory that God wants to give you. And how people talk about the pleasure that God gets in giving. And I have been living in this place of learning to receive over the last 2 years and rejecting false humility.

I dont know.. the whole of the Christian life is a life of tension... and I am no good at balance.

Anyway.. it is almost 2:30 and I have no idea why I am wide awake!

home again home again

2005-04-15T03:57:00.000-07:00

Well i made it through immigration and customs and back to the big city! and although i feel really far behind and bit overwhelmed by how much i need to do ... it is good to be back!

Tonight is the all night vigil for trade justice that is part of "make poverty history" so that should be cool and i will probably have more to blog about after i really get my feet back on the ground.

on the road again!

2005-04-12T14:39:00.000-07:00

how good it was to be behind the wheel of a car again! today i drove from karlsruhe to kaiserslautern here in germany. i went to visit my cousin, whose husband has been stationed here with the air force and they are moving in a few weeks to Ohio. so it seemed timely that i should go and visit her, since she lives extremely close.

sometimes i really struggle with family stuff. i was really close to all my cousins growing up, and in fact this one cousin i really idealized. but the more i follow Jesus the less i seem to make sense to my family. and sometimes when i see them i feel inferior. but today was good. i felt like i didnt have to hide any part of my self or be embarrased for what i do not possess at this time. and it was just good to hang out and to see her boys that are growing up and to offer spiritual advice that she was seeking.

and more than all of that it was just good to be on the road. i love to drive sometimes. i didnt realize i missed it. but in the states so much of my time was spent in the car and it really does something for me, just to be in motion. and i like to pray in the car and i connect with God in such a different way when i am in motion. the only difference to driving here vs being in the states is the obvious lack of a constantly ringing cell phone.

so anyway..........................

2005-04-10T15:06:00.000-07:00

so did you know in german they have a swear word for pastor? it is pfaffe!

2005-04-10T14:43:00.000-07:00

because i am getting comments i will keep on blogging (for now at least)

i am still in germany. and it has been a FABULOUS day! Kubik does a sunday brunch that is over the top and very cool and i must admit it ranks right up there with Stubbs Gospel Brunch even w/o the gospel music. After that Mark, Marcus and I went to ZKM ( a museum for culture and media) it was great. just a museum devoted to technology and the arts. And at the end of the evening tonight we prayed together, mark, marcus, nadine and i. it was great. a bit of an experience to pray with 3 germans....all praying in german but really a good time of prayer. and at the end mark had a picture for me that i thought i should share here....

he had this picture that was in a big theatre, and it was like at the oscars. and this guy was a recieving an award. but by himself he could not stand up. and while there were other people beside him i was behind him holding him up but no one could see me. he didnt know what to do w- that but he did say it felt big, you know it was like he was getting an oscar. and it felt spot on to me, like some other words i have had in the past. i guess i just wanted to throw it out there. i also wonder how that fits with the word i have recieved several times about it is time to not just support other peoples vision but to carry out the visions that God gives me.

2005-04-07T03:11:00.000-07:00

ok...does anyone read this blog anymore? if so you have to be totally bored. i have been bored w- this blog for a while which is why it has been so inconsistent. when i first started blogging it seemed like i had vision for it and it was a way we could all stay connected. but now i dont know why i blog anymore which i why i dont blog that often.

i have been toying with the idea of starting a new blog...b/c maybe it would be more reflective of where i am at now and what i am doing. but i hate naming things and that is one of the first things you have to do when creating a blog. i named this one shopkins b-c that is how i sign my name. but to start a new blog i need a new name...so i keep thinking...

but traveling w- the jones i am in blogger central. with elizabeth starting a new blog that has an AMAZING poem that she wrote while we were broken down and sleeping the car for the second night. and abagail finally getting her blog to post her stuff and well andrew...we all know he blogs. so they have given me a bit of a hard time. and even the kids said they wouldnt link to me unless i post more so i am here trying to decide if i want to keep blogging.

currently andrew is trying to work out getting the vehicle and all of us back to the UK. the kids are watching a movie and we are all in Karlsruhe, Germany. I have been invited to stay a few more days which I think I will do. we are trying to make arrangements to bring the Doxology project to Karlsruhe in September,, so it could be very productive and I could see more of the community here and the city.

so that is that

2005-03-10T14:10:00.000-08:00

ok....so for those of you that don't know it i am a total people person. did you know that?
sometimes it hits me by surprise. but i am totally energised by people. i crave conversation and contact. and i get drained by too much time by myself even if it that time is in prayer or w/ God.

2005-03-08T18:10:00.000-08:00

after a GREAT weekend away (that i need to post more about) i found myself being very nostalgic today...i woke up after having a quite bizarre dream and really realized how much my life has changed in the last 8 years. and in fact there are people and friends that i miss. so i found myself online at 1 am this morning on my university website trying to see where other friends are at these days. i don't know i found it all kind of surreal and weird today and just wanted to throw that out there.....

more snow!

2005-03-04T02:38:00.000-08:00

wow i woke up this morning to a magical site....the grounds outside my flat are covered w/ snow and it is absolutely stunning! it feels like a winter wonderland.

now i just wish i didn't have a meeting across the city. but that's ok. tonight i am driving w/ rob and aimee to devon for the weekend to meet their families and hang out in the country. it all feels so english!

weather

2005-03-03T02:36:00.000-08:00

yesterday was absolutely the dreariest day. it was cold and rainy and in fact i stayed home and did admin stuff all day. normally i prefer the weather of London to that of Texas....however yesterday i found myself longing for some sunshine....
and praise the lord....it is a BEAUTIFUL day here today. clear blue sky and bright sunshine! yeah!!!!!

2005-02-28T16:20:00.000-08:00

YEAH!!!!! Rob and Aimie are back from their tour of the states!

busy busy

2005-02-26T06:05:00.000-08:00

well this past 10 days it has seemed like a bit of a revolving door at my place...it got kicked of w/ andrew passing through, followed by a vist from derek and amy. which was nice b/c it made me feel reconnected to the tribe. and it was good just to hang in my place with people visiting me!

then kristen rudd's dad was in town and i met up with him and a colegue for a day. i played tour guide for the day and got spoiled! with dinner, coffee and the tour of the tour of London!

following that i headed to chichester for a few days to touch base with the carters and enjoy the countryside. i love chichester and have a special bond w/ the carter kids. (i hope that when i have kids they will be a cool and bright as those guys.) the carter house really has the feeling of a seaside castle retreat and i just love it there. and it has the most amazing kitchen. i am finding that i really love to cook but it is only fun for me if there are people to enjoy it. so it was nice to have a big kitchen to be creative in.

i arrived back yesterday and maggie and phu-tan came down from Cambridge along w/ maggie's parents from Australia. So they all had dinner at my place last night and magz and phu-tan are using my place as their base for the weekend. it was great to meet the blicks (maggie/cindy and jules' parents) and i am looking forward to joining up with them for a curry in brick lane.

anyway....it has been full and rich!

candles

2005-02-17T15:10:00.000-08:00

I was lighting candles earlier and I realized that the ones that burn nice and perfect actually put out the least light and the ones that burn messier, you know they don’t have perfect edges and they spill out …they put out the most light. Which made me think about my life and where I am now….certainly not on the main path, or climbing a ladder but I trust that God gets to shine out more b/c I am willing to take risk and not stay in the perfect box.
Then I read Anita’s blog (who by the way is blogging again) and she talks some about the whole idea of like if you actually don’t stay in the system you get judgement. She had some good thoughts which took me back to how thankful I am that God really has let me follow Him adventurously and He has given me people that believe in me and encourage me and support me. That’s pretty cool.

Mark Thames

2005-02-12T04:50:00.000-08:00

So MarkThames has joined in....Check out his blog. mark and Dawn are some of my favorite people, and are currently living in Dallas. They were missionaries in Africa but returned to find most of their friends had left church. So they started living as missionaries in a very artistic, post modern/post christian part of Dallas. And have been there for years now. Mark just finished his phd in postmodern philosophy and is a teacher. He has been taking on apprentices for years...so i expect that once he starts publishing on his blog it will be well visited!

Jones

2005-02-12T04:37:00.000-08:00

Well Andrew called me at 6:30 yesterday morning to announce his impending arrival and has spent a day in London....it has been great to have him around, and James his driver/friend. But now he is jumping at the bit to get to orkney to see Derek and Amy...in fact they are the phone now...so seems like this part of the tribe is touching...but it makes me miss Jessica.
But it has been really good to see andrew and funny how impatient he gets when he is ready to start moving but has to wait on people.

But was reading some scripture about reunioning this morning and excited that he has a reunion awaiting him in Orkney.

Home

2005-02-12T04:33:00.000-08:00

Thinking of Home a lot lately….in talking to James (a friend of Andrew’s) yesterday, we talked about our lives and the whole idea of home. I became really aware that b/c of the way I grew up with a lot of homes, my moms, my dads and my grandparents that I have always had this idea of having multiple homes. It used to bother me that I couldn’t point to one place and say this is where my roots are, this is home. But now I really appreciate that…and it felt like a revelation like a new way of seeing it and defining it. But right now.... London....another one of those places I call home...and i appreciate it and i feel settled......

2 X

2005-02-08T23:39:00.000-08:00

ok...so i blogged twice this morning (this is the 3rd post) all before 8 am....and mainly for my friend maggie who said she checks my blog everyday....so for those of you who actually read this ....now there are a few post.

and now i am about to be off to a conference dealing with tackling the trafficking of women and children.

prayer

2005-02-08T23:34:00.000-08:00

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going
I do not see the road ahead of me
I cannot know for certain where it will end
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

I found this prayer on another friends blog back in december and it really resonated with me, became a touchstone of sorts. And then I ran across it again last night so I thought I would put it up here. I was really encouraged by the last line....Just the fact that God will never leave us to face anything alone. thats Amazing!

by the way i think the prayer was written by thomas merton

ash wednesday

2005-02-08T23:25:00.000-08:00

well lent starts today and i have been reading Isaiah 58 in preperation...

"This is the kind of fast i am after: to break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed, cancel debts"

yeah...me too....i want that....i believe that we can see breakthrough when we fast, not just breakthrough for ourselves but also for those around us and those around the world. anyway...i am excited about this season.

my grandmother

2005-02-04T11:45:00.000-08:00

so my grandmother is having knee surgery today. my grandmother is AMAZING! until this year i don't remember my grandmother every being sick, not even like a cough. she was still walking 5 miles a day last christmas. she is 80 and still going strong. but about 6 months ago though her knee started giving her pain and she decided to have a knee replacement....so that is that...she is having surgery today and my dad is looking after my grandfather....hopefully they won't kill each other!

my grandmother is strong and capable and instilled in me a real "can-do" attitude. my grandparents are really special to me. for those of you that don't know they were more like parents to me than my parents when i was growing up.

anyway...any prayers are appreciated for a good surgery and speedy recovery

2005-02-03T15:26:00.000-08:00

by the way.....could you guess...i finally got internet hooked up in my flat! yes no more pirating a connection. no more standing in my window hoping i could get connected. i am online.

maybe now i will blog more. maybe.

2005-02-03T15:19:00.000-08:00

by the way have i mentioned how much i love musicians in the underground? i mean it can totally change my mood...it really does something for my spirit. the other night i was completely exhausted and i just wanted to get home but when i had to change lines there was this old guy playing violin and it made me totally happy. and really it can even be someone that isn't that great i just love it.

2005-02-03T12:46:00.000-08:00

Over a week since my last post…what a shame! Well maybe I should just start w/ what has been going on this week…..

Sunday night I went to headspace which was lovely. In fact their service was on the issue of doubt and when you walked into the church it was beautiful. They had set a table underneath a very low tent so everyone sat around on cushions on the floor around the table. And the table was filled w/ wine, cheese, bread, olives etc. and we were invited to actually discuss our issues of doubt with those around us. Then we took communion and said a liturgy that expressed the fact that we can come to the table b/c of our debt. Anyway…it was really lovely except that I realized two things.
1)I still hate walking into a church alone…even for me it raised all kinds of insecurity. And 2) While I really don’t question the reality of God and my relationship with Him I wonder if I shouldn’t doubt more. I mean I do doubt things like in the church are we really getting it right…or would we miss Jesus just as much as the faithful Jews did if they returned today…anyway….it has had me thinking all week which is the good thing about church services I suppose.

Lets see then on Monday we had a meeting about Protest4 which felt incredibly productive. And there were a few new people at the meeting. So we are moving forward on putting together a beer mat campaign to try to raise awareness around the issues of human trafficking. We are especially looking at raising awareness for the men that use the women of whom a large percentage of are working against their will.

In thinking through the rest of the week it could get quite boring to write it out. But actually it has been a really good and busy week.

2005-01-26T11:59:00.000-08:00

well it is maggie and phu-tan's last night in london and they are headed over to my place for dinner and we are going to pray as they enter their next season in cambridge. i will miss them but it is exciting b/c it feels like god is bringing us all into new things and their moving and the timing over that is symbolic.

anyway...that is what is going on here tonight.

2005-01-24T16:01:00.000-08:00

i just finished reading my friend nathan's blog and i have to say and it made me laugh soooo much. anyway...nathan, i love you! you really are one of my best friends.

walking around

2005-01-23T16:10:00.000-08:00

so all the drug stores are selling pedometers for under $5 so i picked one up with the goal of walking at least 10,000 steps a day which is roughly 3.5 miles. but i found that in just run of the mill stuff i can easily do more than that....yesterday....16,000 steps!

Prayer

2005-01-19T15:22:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking alot about prayer lately. My friend, Si posted the following story on his blog:

"A story from the East is told about a boy who was out walking on the bank of a river. He looked over and saw a sadhu praying on the opposite bank. The boy crossed over to see the holy man finishing his prayers and so the boy walked over to the water's edge and asked, 'Will you teach me to pray?'

The sadhu looked into the boy's curious eyes momentarily, then took the boy's head, plunged it under the water and held it there. When the boy broke free and got his breath back, he sputtered, 'What did you do that for?'

The sadhu said, 'I just gave you your first lesson in prayer. When you want to pray as badly as you wanted to breathe when your head was under water, only then will I be able to teach you.'

I think there is a lot of truth in this story. I mean we can practice the discipline of prayer but maybe it is when we need it to even breath that we really get there. I don't know....but i am there.

But before Si made that post i had been thinking about prayer anyway for on one hand, I had been praying for new life in my prayer life and since I got back i have been having all of these dreams and visions that wake me up and i feel called to intercede. Sometimes for hours.

On the other hand I just finished reading a book called mudhouse sabbath. The book was written by a girl who grew up jewish, converted to the most orthodox form of judiasm, in her last year at Columbia University she had a dream where she met Jesus. She didn't convert until she went to Oxford to do her MA, then she returned to do her PhD in New York where she had a to reconcile Judism and Christianity. (her book on that journey was Girl meets God) She wrote her latest book about spritual practices which are both Jewish and Christian, but they are practices that Jews tend to do better. And one of the chapters is about prayer. Challenging b/c it is mainly referencing liturgical prayer which is pretty absence from my life.

ok...so there is a post..

2005-01-06T01:34:00.000-08:00

Had a great time with rob and amy last night. Rob is an artist here in London, with his studio a block from the tate modern and amy is an actress, currently working on a short film. Just really good re-connecting.

Rob is also a teacher at the art academy and as he was talking about teaching he started talking about artist block. And how that is a strategic part of the artistic process but you just have to learn how to harness that time. That may be seen as down time or time not working but really it is an important part of the process.

Encouraging. B/c I struggle with the “doing” part of being here. (actually I always struggle with the doing part) What exactly am I doing here? I really am not sure. I just know I am supposed to be here and that it feels like right now I am paving the way for something to be birthed.

But then that also reminds me of something Debbie Jones said to me. Before I have always started with the structure and relationships have been the bi-product…so I have started businesses, churches and organizations and relationships have always come out of that and fit into the structure. But now I am starting with the relationships and waiting on the structure part.

So here I am seeking God, in the place He has called me and trying to be faithful in the relationships He has given me here, and waiting before staking a claim and saying I am doing “this”.

Really right now I just want a good rest though.

sleep

2005-01-06T01:07:00.000-08:00

Really struggling with jet lag now. When I take Tylenol pm I get a bit too much sleep but when I don’t a get a fitful few hours sleep. It is quite horrid really. I am ready for my body clock to be settled!

home

2005-01-03T19:52:00.000-08:00

HOORAY! I am back home. And it was amazing....I got a ride from Antwerp to Bow...and even had help carrying my baggage to my flat. Now I am just trying to put things up and get things in order so that it feels like mine again. But very good to be here. And trying to get back on the right time zone.

Today, though I had a great time catching up with Maggie and Phu-tan. So all is good.

made it

2004-12-30T08:51:00.000-08:00

well i landed in europe....currently in antwerp, belgium w/ derek and amy for new years...and will be back in london soooooon.

ready, set, go

2004-12-27T23:25:00.000-08:00

the day has finally come ....it is my last day in the US! I fly out of Dallas on the 29th!!!!

I arrived in Dallas today and have had a great time reconnecting with the thames and the rudds. I took the red-eye from Anchorage to Salt Lake and due to bad weather I only had 7 minutes to change planes. But I am so thankful I could spend the day here in Dallas with friends instead of stuck in Salt Lake.

There are lots of last minute things that I need to do tomorrow, but then I am on my way.

2004-12-15T02:31:00.000-08:00

well i have been back in the states for 3 months now. and while i have had more than enough opportunity to get back on the blogging horse i have not done it. and for those of you who do check this space i am sorry that there hasn't been much noteworthy stuff as of late.

anyway....i am on the last leg of my US tour. tonight i landed in anchorage at 11:25 pm. and thank goodness....during a heat wave. it is 25 degrees and there is only about 5 inches of snow on the ground. but it is beautiful non the less and i am glad to be here.

and my mom seems to be bouncing back...so that is good news.

happy thanksgiving

2004-11-25T07:04:00.000-08:00

Well it is thanksgiving....that quinesential american holiday! and i am in memphis. Jules is with me (from australia) celebrating her first thanksgiving. (in fact i just woke her up to see the macy's thanksgiving day parade) anyway it feels like thanksgiving here in memphis. all the trees have turned and it is very chilly. and we have been invited to a friend of a friends for thanksgiving dinner.

hope everyone has a good day!

2004-11-23T23:41:00.000-08:00

ok so i did the quiz below b/c for a while they were all the rage and i was inspired by maggie & phu-tan's blog (duo) and b/c i find that i am so tired that i haven't had much time to write a thoughtful blog.

but now i am back in memphis and as of a week from today i will be finished with the sugar scrub tour. the season has not been as successful as we had hoped but nontheless we are more than ready to be done and i am ready to go home.

today jules and i took in graceland. which was a bit over the top. i always wondered who would pay money to go to graceland but actually i learned quite a few things. did you know that elvis was quite a philanthropist? he gave and he gave to many people and organizations.

so that is what is up w/ me...back in memphis....1 week to go!

back to the quizes...what do you think?

2004-11-16T23:19:00.000-08:00

What Common Breed of Dog Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

so what do you think...is it spot on?

regarding some real news.....it looks like my mom is improving! so hopefully she will be home by the time i make it up to alaska. to those of you that have been praying. thanks!

2004-11-15T21:27:00.000-08:00

well i have no idea what to blog about. at this point i think i am just going on autopilot.

i am in birmingham, alabama this week. and two weeks from tomorrow the show season will be over. I am beginning to try to plan December. I need to book a ticket to Alaska and book my ticket to London. I was hoping to be back in London by Christmas but I think that might be pushing it.....however....that leaves me trying to figure out what to do on Christmas.

back in alabama

2004-11-10T21:15:00.000-08:00

just for those of you who are keeping up with me i am back in Alabama.

half way through

2004-11-01T11:24:00.000-08:00

well i am at the half way point....5 weeks of shows behind us and 5 weeks in front of us...it is the home stretch...and after this week it should be smooth sailing....now if i could just find the keys to my storage unit.

throwing it out there

2004-10-26T23:47:00.000-07:00

Just a bit of craziness going on on this end….. Now I don’t know if anyone really reads this blog…but I thought I would go ahead and bite the bullet here and be really transparent. For those of you who do not know my mother is bi-polar. This has been something I have dealt with my entire life. My mother can be quite amazing in some respects but mental illness is a nasty thing to deal with. I have been very thankful that the last few years she has stayed on her meds and has been without an episode. However, last Monday she completely de-stabalized. She was admitted to the hospital. And due to her being uncooperative and bilegerent she was admitted to a state facility.

So last week was a bit of a blur for me…with her condition comes an amazing range of emotions for me. However all I can do is keep taking one day at a time. While I considered heading to Alaska and letting Jessica and Jules cover things this weekend…I decided instead to go ahead and come to Memphis. So I had a 10 hour drive from Atlanta to Memphis to think, worship, pray and process (and realize that I am a southern girl) Now I am in Memphis w/ the girls…..we headed to Beale street tonight for some blues and tomorrow our show starts.

Any prayers are obviously appreciated.

Georgia, sweet georgia

2004-10-20T21:02:00.001-07:00

I crossed the state line on Monday into Georgia and am now hanging out in Atlanta. Jessica was due to fly in yesterday and work the atlanta show w/ me but due to the fact that Life's grandmother isn't doing so well....Jessica stayed to work the Little Rock show, Life flew out to california and I am here by myself.

I feel like i should blog something meaningful or significant but really there is not much to say. It is kind of cool to be in Georgia. My dad was stationed here when I was 8 and he was promoted to Lt. Col. here and that year we celebrated forth of july at stone mountain which was one of my all time favorite holiday memories growing up. But I am really ready to go hang with the girls in memphis and go out on the town.

And beyond that I am really missing London and my flat. I am ready to unpack my bags and settle in for a while.

southern tour commenced!

2004-10-14T20:56:00.000-07:00

well i made it across texas, louisianna, mississippi and am now in alabama. the sugar scrub tour is officially in full force. (thank goodness for my cell phone, i finally got to catch up with some people, which helped pass the 19 hour drive) we have 4 shows this weekend...jules and jessica are in memphis, lora is in mc allen, life is in ft worth and i am in montgomery. hopefully it will be a great weekend...i must admit that i am a bit jealous of jules and jess being in memphis...which is one of the coolest cities in the south.

so did any of you know that i am actually from alabama? i was born in aniston (outside of mobile) when my dad was in green beret training. we were transfered to the carolinas before i was two weeks old but i did get my start here!

vagabond girl

2004-10-11T09:07:00.000-07:00

so the one thing of home i have been carrying around with me ...i left in san antonio....yes my pillow is there....along w/ a box of 148 cuticle oils that didn't get packed in the van.

san antonio

2004-10-09T06:53:00.000-07:00

so did you know that san antonio just surpassed dallas as the 8th largest city in the us? does that seem bizarre to anyone? i couldn't believe that....i just never thought of san antonio as a big city. oh well. can you guess i am in san antonio? our show is here this weekend.....tuesday i head for Montgomery, Al.

new show

2004-10-08T05:48:00.000-07:00

well a new show has begun.....we are in san antonio.....the good news is our booth looks fantastic the bad news....it didn't start out as good as i wanted it too and i was tired from the gate. it is not so good when you are tired before the show even starts. oh well....i guess that is just a request for all you people who read this blog to pray for me that i get some energy!

however saying that yesterday morning i looked up to see one of my old college friends and a girl i even lived w/ for a semester. it was BIZARRE mainly b/c that life seems like 100 years ago. and i was thinking about the difference btw where i am now and where i was even a year ago. i think if i would have bumped into mandy last year i would have really questioned where i was in life...i am not married, don't have kids, not much stablity. no big house, or extravagant car....etc etc etc. but yesterday i was able to look at where i am in life and be really content. now don't get me wrong...i really still want to be married!

i don't know ...i could see w/ a few different choices i could have such a different life...but i am really thankful for the life i have.

i will probably have to come back and polish up this post after i have had a cup of coffee!

the other thing that happened in between the two shows was i went to kerrville and back to soul cafe. it was really great...truly like homecoming or maybe a 10 year high school reunion (not that i have been to either to compare them) anyway it was really super fantastic and i was really blessed and encouraged.

update

2004-10-03T11:55:00.000-07:00

I was driving to my grandparents on Thursday when it hit me that I haven’t been back in the states a month yet. Isn’t that CRAZY? It only seems crazy to me because I feel like I have been back too long already and it seems like I have already done a years worth of work.

Oh well, this is my only weekend without a show until dec 5th so I am actually taking a full day to enjoy myself. (well I say a full day but I will have a few work things to take care of tonight). So I am with jess and stacy at quacks. I have had my fill (and beyond) of coffee. And we are thinking of heading to the mall and possibly a movie.

This past week I did the family thing a bit and saw my grandparents, my brother, my nieces and nephew and my father. For those of you who know my precarious family situation you know how big that was. Then on top of it I also saw John Berryhill and a few other people that I did not expect to see.

My time with my family overall was good. I love my grandparents so much. They were more my parents than my parents during my formative years and I think I got my love for the church from my grandmother. But I was shocked by seeing her with all white hair. All my life she has colored it and now it is stark white. I don’t know they just seemed so old and it makes you realize that your family won’t be around forever. My brother is headed back to Iraq on the 19th and it was amazing to see how his perspective has changed. Before he went the first time he was so judgemental and full of prejudice but he now really likes the country and the people and wants to go back. (he is working on the rebuilding). But we are sooooo different. His kids however are amazing and I took them to see A sharks tale!

Seeing Berryhill was good also. I know most of you that know him won’t understand that but I think I am getting to the place where I am really thankful that I went through the ECN debacle and sitting down with John was good. I felt so strong and healthy, more mature, reminded of both my integrity and my femininity. I am both really proud of where I am and thankful for what God has done in my life. While I am very thankful for my relationship and the support I receive from the convention I am very glad that I am in a place where the majority of my support comes from legitimate business endeavors and people who believe in me and the ministry work God has called me to. And overall seeing berryhill just helped me realize how happy I am and what a better place I am in!

But with all of that and the non stop sugar scrub tour really kicking off on Wednesday I miss London. I miss my life there. I miss the newness, I miss the weather, I miss the people. There are things happening there this month that I wish I could be at. CMS is doing a weekend looking at issues regarding Training for young leaders and PROTEST4 is doing a weekend looking at the issue of people trafficking. Hopefully a lot of people from emerging churches across London will turn up and make a decision to collaborate on a missions effort focused on helping the people that are effected by such a heinous act. Did you know that there are more people traded today as slaves than were traded when slavery was legal? Something really must be done and I believe that church has to step up and be involved.

I also believe that the emerging church must be involved in working towards a solution. We must stop being focused just on the people that look like us, talk like us, dress like us and have a missiology that includes those that works towards justice for those that justice isn’t easily attained. Anyway if you are in London don’t miss the protest4 weekend . For more information check out either Si’s Blog or Moot Blog.

And just while I am on the subject of people for which justice does not exist I must say that I was disappointed the other night in the debates and the narrow scope of both parties views on foreign policy.

2004-09-28T00:43:00.000-07:00

ok i am headed to bed... i was sucked into the internet vortex for a bit tonight...but now i am off to bed. it is good to be in austin. i hung out w/ brian and whitney for a bit and then caught up with jessica.

tomorrow life and i are going to wrap up everything for our october shows and then stacy is hosting a "one tree hill party" tomorrow night, at which i am in charge of making black bean fajitas.

anyway--until then---i need my beauty sleep

new bloggers

2004-09-28T00:04:00.000-07:00

so brian (of brian and whitney) is blogging again here. they are being gracious enough to host me while i am in austin. i absolutely love them and their two boys ian and brennan and am hoping they make it across the pond this year!!!

2004-09-26T19:56:00.000-07:00

well i am not the only one with a renewed commitment to blogging. jessica has also gotten back on the blogging horse.

by the way--we made it back to austin! now we just have to unload my car so i don't have to be worried about being decapitated b/c of our lousy packing job. we really need joey to go with us on these shows.

2004-09-25T23:05:00.002-07:00

there are absolutely NO shoes that are comfortable for being on your feet 12 hours a day 3 days in row!!!! (especially no heels) but i also am probably a bit spoiled after 6 months of flip flops in england.

anyway our show is over and we head home in the morning. we blew away our low goal and came with in 500 of our high goal so we have started off with a bang!!

by the way has anyone noticed my re-commitment to blogging???

update from lafayette

2004-09-24T21:47:00.000-07:00

ok so i have to make this speedy b/c it has been 2 12 hour days in a row of selling selling selling and jules (the rookie from australia) is waiting to get online to check her email.

we are having a fantastic show, the sales are pretty much on target and we are surviving although we did have to use the sugar scrub ourselves tonight to whip our feet into shape for tomorrow. the show ends tomorrow and then we pack up and drive home on sunday. please pray that Hurricane Gene dies down so that it doesnt make the drive precarious (especially if jules is driving).

for all you people on the other side of the pond...i really miss you and the english weather as well!

on the road again

2004-09-20T06:59:00.000-07:00

ok....so t-59 minutes and counting.....and we will be off to louisiana for our first show of the season!
i definately am back in driving mode....i looked at my odometer yesterday and i have driven over 1000 miles since i left dallas for austin a week ago---how is that possible?

update

2004-09-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

My friend si blogged recently of having BNS (blog neglect syndrome) I myself am beyond BNS….i have vacillated between trying to rekindle a thing for blogging and killing this thing. But as I am sitting in quacks with my latte this morning (possibly my favorite place in Austin) I think maybe I should give it a go and blog once more.

So maybe I should give an update on my return to the states:

I arrived in dallas two weeks ago tomorrow…and dang it feels like 2 months ago. It was an easy place to land…I got to hang w/ Kristen and Joshua (and cute little Judah), Mark and Dawn and the kids….and then in classic shannon form I had meetings! From Dallas I drove to Austin and Life and I have been preparing pretty much non-stop for our sugar tour of 2004 and the launch of our new line “Lolo”.

I have been crashing at Brian and Whitneys new place in central Austin (which is nice for me b/c it is right around the corner from Quacks…so I can get my morning coffee on run). Whitney and Brian have 2 cute boys (Ean and Brennan) and I am sleeping in the play room….so last night I kept finding little car toys in my bed. But that always makes one smile!

Anyway our first stop on the sugar scrub tour was supposed to be Montgomery, Al but as we were pulling out of town to make the 14 hour drive we got the call that Hurricane Ivan was headed right for them…so we turned around, regrouped and have had a week in Austin to hang out. Which has been nice for me b/c I have gotten to catch up with some of my friends and now I feel really ready…..so the next stop: Lafayette, La…..we leave tomorrow.

Until then....Stacy and Jess just showed up, so i should sign off and hang out with them!

market

2004-08-13T05:50:00.000-07:00

i am very excited i got a free pass to the wholesale womenswear and accessory show here in London. So it is this sunday-monday- and tuesday....so i am going to go scope out the market on this side of the pond. it has been so long since i have even walked around in that scene and i am really looking forward to it.

unfinished works

2004-08-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

yesterday i hung out with the Austin crew from Hope in the City and we took in The National Gallery which was really AMAZING! But i have to say that my favorite work was one of michael angelo's unfinished pieces. It is amazing how beauty can shine through and captivate in a work in progress.
Which reminds me of the scripture 2 cor 4:7 "but we have this treasure in jars of clay" and somehow in the midst of all that yester i just felt peace and confidence in where I am and who I am b/c i am confident of who God is and so i don'ave have to strive and strive for perfection and completion b/c His beauty can shine through this unfinished work.

Movies

2004-08-09T17:11:00.000-07:00

Well I caught up with my friend Iona today and we headed to the movies late this afternoon, mainly to escape the heat and humidity. I was hoping to see The Bourne Supremecy but we ended up seeing 13 going on 30 which is a romantic comedy with Jennifer Garner (from Alias)…and it was actually a cute film. And for all of you who know me you know that I love romantic comedies…and I am glad to say that I still believe in love.

walking zombie

2004-08-08T06:15:00.000-07:00

i do feel like i am a walking zombie today and the heat here is not helping. it is crazy how energized by people i am but now that everyone has left i feel completely depleated. it has been great to have so many people coming and going and soul in the city was great to be a part of (more later on that)....but today i am just in a fog. there is so much that i want to blog about but it will probably have to come in spurts over the next few days.

so by the way .....what is up with this weather....it has gotten incredbily hot here...it is in around 35 degrees C or in the 90s F....but there is no airconditiong anywhere. adn the buildings here are all designed to keep the heat in. i am longing for the clouds to return i am in England!!!!!

happy belated birthday to me!

2004-08-03T14:30:00.000-07:00

well i made it to 32! it was a good day (on sat) and a good weekend. i was surrounded by people and doing something i love to do (host) so it was good. and i think god was really dealing with taking out some roots of disappointment from the past which is good as well.

not sure how i feel about 32...actually it seems old! so we will have to see how it wears. i did get chatted up by a cute copper today...which was actually nice!

so anyway ...i have been really really busy for the last few weeks so sorry for the lack of posting...i actually feel like i have a lot to say ...but just not much time these days...so i will try to properly catch up real soon.

Golden Year?

2004-07-21T12:32:00.000-07:00

Well it is only 10 days until my birthday! Which has had me thinking about this past year (which some would say was my golden year b/c I turned 31 on the 31st).

So what happened this year?

31 for me has been a year to…..
be broken
and put back together
a year to dig deeper with God
and uncover spiritual strongholds
a year to get healing
find joy
and find myself again
a year to celebrate (it did start off with a bang)
let loose a bit & learn to relax
a year to travel
and a year to explore
a year to dance
and a year to float
a year to smile
and a year to cry

A golden year? Well gold is refined by fire! I have to admit I thought this year would see a few more changes…but I guess that has me looking forward to 32!

Sore

2004-07-20T10:23:00.000-07:00

Sore—
Adj—painful or tender b/c of an injury, infection, or unaccustomed exercise…..
That would be me today. My body is so sore. I have worked out 12 out of the last 16 days ….and I am feeling it today!

After midnight and still going strong

2004-07-19T16:36:00.000-07:00

Well today has been a good day but it is still going strong….one of the downfalls to my building is the laundry facility…it is hard to get a washer on a weeknight…so I have 3 loads going on 3 floors and the dryers take about 2 hours to dry anything. Oh well. While the laundry has been going I have been betty homemaker--- I baked muffins for the soul café gang that will arrive in London tomorrow mid day. They have a 12 hour layover on the way to the Ukraine so we are going to hook up. I am really excited to see them….especially my friend Becky who just got married and is leading the team.