Tuesday, June 07, 2005
I grew up with this sense of having multiple homes. I moved 11 times in 13 years and I always had this since of home being 1) w/ my grandparents, 2)w/ my mom and 3) w/ my dad. And I moved quite freely between the three. After university I lived in several different cities and I always felt like home was a little bit in Austin, a little bit in Dallas and a little bit in Kerrville. But it was in having multiple homes that I felt settled. Now in England…I feel like the place is more “me” shaped than anywhere ever before and it does feel like home.
Why then have I been missing texas periodically over the last month? I really have no desire to go back but I do think it is because for the first time I feel really cut off from one of my homes. like it doesn’t feel like both/and but one or the other. In the midst of God stirring up some old personal stuff it has me longing for some of the comforts of home.
But then on the other hand…I don’t really want to go back. Rob asked me yesterday if I felt like I was slowly going back and that really freaked me out. Isnt it ok to miss things and people a bit? But what do I really miss? B/c while I don’t want to go back I want the ability to go back and I want to have both…England and Texas
you can come live with us in our community house in dallas... we miss your face.
wowow shannon, i am really surprised. don't visit your blog for few days and today there is so much to read :o). thats great.
hey shannon! good to see you blogging again finally! i can relate to how you feel about missing 'home-across-the-water' but not actually wanting to go back. it's weird. glad i'm not the only one to feel it! and i'm glad you are in england and not texas right now. texas' loss is our gain and i thank god for that!
maybe what you're feeling is that strange 'homesickness' we sometimes get for heaven, being strangers and pilgrims on the earth. I remember getting homesick when i DID go home. Odd. magz
yeah i thought about that. and when i did go to texas in the autumn the whole time i was there i was homesick for london...weird
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