Sunday, July 18, 2004
I was reading an article in this magazine today (artisan) about a girl who had been really successful before she was 30 but now is at a point where it is all being stripped away and she can’t point to what she does to define herself as successful. The story really resonated with me. Last week was absolutely excruciating for me in many ways.
One thing that happened was I went to a theology conference that was led by Tom White. (several others have put their notes online if you want the heady stuff). And the conference and teaching was AMAZING. I got in last minute and am really glad I had the opportunity. However, have you ever felt like you were at the right place at the wrong time? In a lot of ways it felt like that. (I felt like a fish out of water). Like I would have fit in more a year ago or three years ago than I do right now.
For so long I have found my security and identity in my capability and my accomplishments. But for the last year God has really had me on a journey. And while it was incredibly clear for me in coming to London I am not sure how all the pieces fit together right now and I feel like I am still waiting for the next step. But it is stirring up lots of stuff in me and it is terribly uncomfortable.
“Consider it a sheer gift, friends when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well developed not deficient in any way.” James 1:4 the message
Gosh Shannon, that verse *really* speaks to me today. We found more dry rot in the dining room last night, had to cancel the plasterer who was booked in for this morning, a real set back- no nice clean smooth walls for us this week. It's been heartbreaking, but I'm really trying to engage with what God's doing through it- where's the rot in me, that he needs to strip out, take back to the bone so he can rebuild me from the skeleton up, just like ezekiel... It's hard though.
But thank you for sharing that passage, it really spoke to my heart and has encouraged me so much. Bless you in your process too!