Wednesday, January 28, 2004
The Inner Journey
The biggest thing I am learning these days is how to take care of myself. How to function from a place of rest and peace and happiness. Not to just overfunction like crazy. For those of you who know me you know that this is hard for me. However, it is taking me to a new place with Jesus, and I am experiencing greater communion with God and the Holy Spirit, because I am waiting on HIM.
The other thing is that in taking care of myself, I am saying "I am important" not just what I can do but who I am. And that is so new for me. I think I have worked hard for a long time trying to prove my worth, but I was recently reminded that that is not how God works. Anyway...it is such an inner journey and He is doing major interior work on me, and often I don't know how to share that.
I feel like I am flexing a new muscle, but I am doing so in the decisions I am making. The decision to order my time better, to say no to some things and yes to others. The decision to join a gym. The decision to move out of the house. The decision to go to a metabolic nutritionist. And so many more. It seems like everyday there is a chance to relapse into old patterns or to choose new ones. I want to choose new ones. I want to be healthy- body mind and spirit.
So that is what is going on with me and this this feels more vulnerable than I usually am in the space.